Prayer Request

I have a prayer request to put before you.

A few years ago the Lord led me to a great bible study by Beth Moore (Breaking Free) which helped me tremendously in dealing with the spiritual aspects of my OCD and panic attacks, allowing me to separate the spiritual attack from the physical symptoms. I did very well for a few years, but I have had about a year or so now of spiritual dryness that seems to have sapped all of my reserves. Then, just a few weeks ago, under the direction of my nurse at my obstetrics office, I began taking a medication called Zoloft for severe chronic depression symptoms. I was apprehensive about taking the medication, but she assured me that Zoloft was safe to take during pregnancy. I was only on the medication for 4 days, because the Zoloft caused a severe serotonin imbalance, triggering the worst episodes of terror and panic I've had in years, on top of so much nausea that I lost more weight than I've gained this pregnancy, and severe headaches and disorientation. I stopped taking the medicine as soon as I realized the correlation, and within a few days, the physical symptoms had been relieved.

Unfortunately, since then, every day has been like an uphill spiritual battle, fighting off the panic and the obsessive thoughts. Additionally, because of this period of dryness, I feel as though my prayers are bouncing off of the ceiling, and "feel" no comfort from the Holy Spirit. My days are spent trying to "do what my hand finds to do" and "set my mind on things which are good, pure, etc" in an effort to stave off this suffocating flood of spiritual attack. While on the medicine, I felt as though I was drowning; now I feel as though my head is just barely above the water, and I struggle to perform even the most simple daily tasks. The Lord has brought many scriptures to my remembrance in the darkest times, but ... I just want to be able to live again, not to struggle to survive from moment to moment.

Please, if you would, intercede together on my behalf, asking for the Lord to fulfill His promise not to leave us comfortless, and that He would provide avenues by which my soul can feed -- I know that the preceding period of spiritual dryness contributed greatly to the severity of this attack.

I will not allow the devil to use my embarrassment over this issue to keep me silent; I am choosing to ask for help, to ask for those who are in Christ to come together with me and cry out before the throne of grace on my behalf -- for my deliverance. Please pray for me.